Directional forces

Mr Smith bought me a compass at the weekend. I don't understand it. "How can one not understand a compass?" I hear you cry. Well, it has a red pointer and a black pointer and I don't know which is which and the day I find north we will be at the South Pole. Mr Smith says he's going to get me a gps signal that he will attach to my body so he can pinpoint me on a map then when I ring him, having done several circular routes, with "Help, I'm lost" he can say "Yes, so I can see." I think a little signal attached to google earth shouldn't be that tricky - just Mr Smith would never be able to operate it and anyway he wouldn't bother. To be honest he's not the best person to call with "I'm in a wood and I can see lots of trees, where am I?"